The Ebb and Flow of Life through BJJ

Like so many others, I was mystified by the spectacle of Royce Gracie winning the first Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). I knew I wanted to learn “that stuff” someday and I was fully committed to getting my black belt but sometimes other things took priority.  My life was full: I was working in San Francisco wearing a suite every day and preparing for the Graduate Management Admission Test (GMAT). Before I could blink it was 1995 and I am off to Seattle to attend my dream school the University of Washington for a Master’s in Business Administration.

Flash forward suddenly it is 1997 and I move back to the Bay Area fully committed to prioritizing my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) journey.  A friend of mine told me he was training at a Gracie gym in Pleasant Hill, CA.  I decided to go watch a class, signed up that night and returned the next day to start the journey.

I can still remember my first class. It was a small group, just three of us. The trainers showed us the basic armbar from the guard position and a technique for escaping when someone is mounted: the Upa.   After practicing these drills, we were introduced to the active rolling (wrestling) that goes on during class. I can honestly tell you if you never been in a fight you have no idea how much energy it takes to just wrestle for five minutes! I was one tired person after that class but I was in love. That was first and last time I ever saw my two introductory classmates. I can’t even remember their names. People only got to know you if you stuck around and trained at least a good six months. And many showed up, like me enamored by the “Gracie” name, but it is glamourous at all.

Then BAM, when life seemed so good, I was rocked to my core to find out my mother was terminally ill with a form of leukemia called Multiple Myeloma. I took care of her until she passed.

Months later, and BJJ is still on my mind, getting that black belt in my soul. I had the pleasure and pain to have been around and train with some talented martial artists, all who in he ebb and flow are now black belts. Guys like:

Gil Castillo,

David Terrell,

Steve Heath,

Nick Ertl,

Jake Shields,

Gil Melendez,

Val Ignatov,

Marty Armendarez,

Casey Strand,

the late Alex Gong,

Richard Nero,

Tim Lajcik,

and a very young Nick Diaz.

In the early days you learned early and often that guys were going to beat you up good and techniques were top secret until or if you learned to defend and submit people. Think of going to a place everyday knowing that you were to be beaten unless you made movies up the learning curve. I was getting up everyday going to work at 4am, come home grab a nap or a bite to eat and head to the gym knowing that I was the low man until or if I quit, or took someone else’s spot by beating them. Remember, this was before the internet we all take for granted today. No Youtube videos or facebook groups, just a few online forums with verbal descriptions of technique and maybe a few hand drawn pictures. You would have had an easier time finding porn on-line then than a viable BJJ technique!

I think it took me literally a year before I could hit my first armbar while actively rolling. No one was spoon feeding you any technique people showed you once maybe twice since there were so few techniques. I remember being promoted to Blue belt (the second you can earn). You had to fight and win to get a promotion. I was elated.

Suddenly, and unexpectedly I had a fire in my home which was a total loss. Me and my Dad had to demolish everything in the house down to the studs and remodel the house. Once again, I had to step back from BJJ and take care of life. It took me 2.5 years to get the house back to where it could be occupied (that’s another story). I got back to training as I could and was once again rocked by the sudden death of my father.

Life and success are not linear, there is an ebb and flow to everything. I’ve lost loved ones, jobs, torn ligaments, had a herniated disc, torn nerves and lost everything in a fire.  It is all part of the ebb and flow of life. Despite all the ups and downs I’ve never loss focus on the goals that I set out to achieve. This September will make 23 years training in BJJ. I knew when I started down this path that I would never quit. Just because life throws a curve ball, don’t ever give up.