Month: January 2020
Make Your Damn Bed!
It’s funny how some of the greatest lessons I have learned to be an independent associate have not come from being an independent associate! I am a huge believer in mindsets; I am known on social media for saying: “you must train your mind to change your life!“
I grew up in an old Victorian home built in 1903 in Tacoma, Washington. When we finally moved into that home my sister and I actually got our own rooms. And me being the older of the two got the cool room upstairs in the attic. I even got to pick the carpet that was laid on the hardwood floor and decorate it to my style. Even cooler? I got a queen size bed!
I remember when I was about thirteen my wonderful Italian grandmother came to visit from Chicago. All of about four foot ten and one-hundred pounds soaking wet, she was a bright star in my life.
One day while visiting she climbed up the old, narrow, steep staircase into the attic to see this room which I was so proud. I was thrilled to show it off to her. The light blue carpet, the matching girly curtains on the old attic window. Even the built in vanity where I could do my hair and make up.
She did exactly what any wonderful grandmother would do; admired every little part of my bedroom. The latch hook rug of a unicorn I had made, my pictures on my dresser and how it was decorated. After all that admiration she had one final thing to say.
“Annie, I cannot believe you have not made your bed. You’ve been up for hours! You need to make your bed.”
“But grandma, who cares about my bed it’s only me up here. Nobody’s going to see it.”
“That’s not the point Annie. You make your bed every day for you and because you know you did it. Not for anyone else.”
Since then, I have made my bed every day.
Fast forward 15 years. I am in my late 20s and have decided to start my own business. Every day, no matter what I have going on, I get up and make my bed. I may be traveling around the globe to speak at that time, but my bed was made before I left the house. Even then I could still hear my grandma’s voice: “Annie, make your bed for you.”
Now, it’s 2020, I’m more than half a century-year-old, and I still make my bed every single day. Even if my husband Earl “man caves” on Sunday morning I go in there once he gets up and I make the bed.
Every. Single. Day.
You’re probably wondering what the hell this has to do with being successful with in our network marketing business, LOL. In many ways everything. You still might be thinking making your bed doesn’t really matter. No one sees it after all.
When being an independent contractor with CTFO nobody’s going to tell you to “make your bed”. Making the bed symbolizes the mindset of hard work and discipline. Nobody’s going to tell you to get up so you earn your paycheck. No one is going to tell you to make those calls to potential customers and team members. No one is going to ensure that you get your to do list done.
Every day you must get up with the mindset that you are going to put in the work, even on days when it doesn’t seem to matter. Especially on days when no one will “see it” but you.
So how will you “make you bed” today? Where do you need to make changes in your discipline? Do it for you, not anyone else!
Adopted from my book: “Unscripted: How Entrepreneurs Leap and Find Success”
La Dolce Far Niente or the Sweet Art of Doing Nothing
With the introduction of the internet to the general populace circa 1990 the world was introduced to the beginnings of the 24/7/365 data cycle. I say data because everything on the world wide web can be raw and truly lacking context and obviously may not be real. Around 2004 the world was introduced to social media via companies like Myspace and Linkedin and coupled with the pervasive nature of the cellphone Skynet was online or rather we were now always in a world where no matter the time of day or night you could get on line. Via the internet or social media we were bombarded with tons of data and stimuli. It seems very innocent but the constant connectivity and stimuli and the medium can have negative effects on you physically and I’m not just talking about tendinitis of the thumb and neck pain, lol.
I was on the fore front of this movement and believe me I was up every workday at 4am to start my commute and using my protestant work ethic to try and rise up in the organization and make money. One day I got a call at work from my Father and he said: “Son there has been a small fire at the house.” I immediately left work to go check on my family. When I got home the house was destroyed. I took the rest of the work week off and with my father’s help we worked on cleaning out the house so I could begin the rebuild.
When I went back to work, the Vice President of the business group I support was upset because she hadn’t gotten her monthly package I complete. I convened with our Chief Financial Officer to ask for his thoughts on my approach to addressing this issue. He said: “just tell her what happened, she should understand.” This was hard for me as I I like to keep my private life separate from work. Against my own judgement I attempted to talk with my business partner about my personal tragedy. What I got was basically a who cares where is my business package.
In that moment I recognized that no matter how much good work I had done up until this point this lady didn’t care about me or my wellbeing after losing everything in the fire. I asked for a week and proceed to get things back on track but my entire approach to work changed as I started coming in at 8 am instead of 5 am. I started leaving after eight hours unless I absolutely had to stay late. This brings me to the concept of La Dolce Far Niente.
The Italians have a concept called “La Dolce Far Niente” which means “the sweetness of doing nothing”. This was the pivotal moment I learned how important “nothing” truly is. When I say nothing, I’m not talking about sitting at home watching television, passively zoning out on the internet. I’m referring to putting down the devices, stepping back from the latest streaming show, get over “dammit I’m missing the latest episode of Shameless”, even putting work down (yes, even when it’s your own business). I’m not telling you to forsake your responsibilities I’m saying that the Protestant work ethic and connectivity will be enhanced with a little “La Dolce Far Niente”. In my mind this is the concept of stopping and smelling the roses. No matter where you are in the world I believe there is something beautiful to appreciate whether it is a beautiful urban garden, a nature spring, or a beautiful piece of graffiti as I take breaks and walk at work now.
La Dolce Far Niente.
We live in the San Francisco Bay area and my wife often says: “when you get stressed out or anxious just look up.” She says it because in her mind there is always an amazing view to capture. People talk about being present which I agree, but when I’m talking about being present, I want to focus on enjoying the moment its entirety. Mind, body and spirit. If you are sitting in the park people watching don’t let your mind drift to what you should be doing but rather focus on the people you see in your line of sight. Find joy in that sweet nothing. Work and responsibilities are always going to be there but mastering the art of doing nothing could help your quality of life.
Gardening and Success
When one realizes they choose, in every situation, how you feel about living is remarkable. Everything in life is our choice. Our self-love stems from that. Choices for me have been hard and frightening, like moving to California for a boy I thought was magnificent (yet no commitment yet), or simple yet powerful choices, like choosing to grow food not lawns.
Our yard was destroyed when the contractors had to rebuild after a fire in our home. As Earl would ask, “what should we do,” my heart knew I wanted a garden. I have fond memories of my grandfather’s lushly scented garden, his beautiful tomatoes and the joy he took in it. Of how my father loved to press flowers in phone books. I wanted to grow flowers and especially food.
Earl agreed. Having parents that died early in life, 53 and 61, we knew how important food was to living long, full lives. April 2020 will start our twelfth year growing our own food. The garden is 9000 square feet, high-density, organic, urban and we grow food and flowers ALL year.
It has been an adventure in choices.
Dig trenches, raise beds, composting. How? Ok, raised beds, clay way too hard to dig, and composting is “dirt man’s” (i.e. Earl) job. Planting and harvesting. When? Will mother nature agree? Probably not, but seasons are short. Plant high density to get the best return on investment.
A drought? Are you kidding me woman? Ok, choose to grey water. Be more sustainable. Put a damn bucket in the sink! Keep it there when the drought is “over.”
Wait, why is that ONE kale plant shaking, like the wind is blowing, in that HUGE 8x4x2 box of greens? Fuck me it’s a fucking mole! Dig the dirt out of all NINE boxes, ALL 64 square feet of it, times NINE boxes, put mole guard down, fill them back up. Who says gardening isn’t a workout! lol
Slugs. Snails. Aphids. Organic is hard. Pick and rub them off. Oh my look at that, we attract Monarchs! I was going to dig out all that milkweed, choose to leave it. And that is a huge praying mantis! Organic is paying off.
Summer. Harvest cucumbers, zucchini, beans, corn, and peppers. Holy tomato! They are in abundance this year! We didn’t grow them to compost them or give them all away. Learn to can. Pickle. Freeze.
Winter. Harvest greens, cabbage, beets, carrots, choys, celery. Wow did it just get THAT warm in February? The bok choy is bolting. Learn to ferment. Make kimchi.
Be ready to do that WHEN the plants say it’s time. Be willing to share with those that appreciate.
“Hey friend, want something from the garden since we are coming over?”
“Sure, how about some zucchini?”
“That doesn’t grow this time of year.”
“Oh I never thought of that, we buy it all year at the grocery.”
Choose to eat seasonally. Choose to learn new fun creative ways to eat seasonally so it isn’t boring. You should see what I can do with zucchini!
Yes, I choose. In every situation. Big or small. Hard or easy. Having this garden has shown me that I can, at any given moment choose. I can choose overwhelm, stress, frustration. I can choose adventure, learning, creativity. Hard or easy is also a choice. But the state of not choosing will eat away at our soul. Make a choice: left or right; fat or thin; stay or go, love or leave. And then BE in that choice. Make a choice about making your life better, not the same as it has always been. Year after year, day after day. The choice is yours.
Inflammation: Healing the Body
Inflammation is increasingly linked to a broad range of illnesses including cancer, heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune, neurogenerative and well as aging. Inflammation occurs naturally in response to illness and infection, but when it is chronic, it can increase the risk of developing disease. Although a lot more research and investigation is needed, it would seem prudent to manage your inflammation as best you can via lifestyle decisions.
No, I’m not going to tell you not to imbibe or enjoy pizza! As I mentioned in a previous blog, we enjoy craft beer, wine, spirits, etc. on a regular basis. We are all going to die from something so let us enjoy the ride and enjoy our adult vices in moderation.
Ann lives with chronic pain, and I worry about keeping her healthy and around for a long time. To reduce inflammation, we utilize some of the following options:
- Cannabidiolic Acid (CDBA)
- A non-psychoactive cannabinoid and the acid precursor to CBD, which is very unstable so be careful as there is a lot of snake oil on the market. It is a 1000x stronger CBD so 1mg of CBDA is equal to 1000mg of CBD, if you have a product that protect it when taking it. This has allowed Ann to get better sleep and workout again, because it has rediced pain greatly.
- Exercise
- It is well known that regular physical exercise has health benefits and one anti-inflammatory response. One study at UC San Diego found that by doing 20 minutes of regular physical activity at moderate levels reduced inflammation by five percent. Our goal is 4 days a week, intense workouts so they don’t take all day!
- Rest
- I consider this one of the most underappreciated factors in reducing chronic inflammation. There is a high correlation between sleep quality and your overall health. Dr. Matthew Walker say that “The silent sleep loss epidemic is one of the greatest public health challenges we face in the 21st century”. We are committed to a minimum of 7 hours a night.
- Diet
- I hate to use the word but in the case it is appropriate. When I speak about diet I referring to moderating the process meats, sugars, and eliminating the Franken foods like trans fats, genetically modified organisms. That name by itself should scare you away over diet. For us a diet is about a WAY of eating not loosing weight!
- Adult Libations
- You knew it was coming! Beer, wine and spirits in moderation may reduce inflammation. I love a good India Pale Ale (IPA) but I also love a good Stout. The hops in beer have shown both sedative and anti-inflammatory properties. You’ll check two boxes by enjoying a nice beer. Wine contains resveratrol which is showing promise in the anti-inflammatory world. An last but not least on a cool winter evening a wee little dram never hurt anyone.
Just like you we live a full life with all the ups and downs, someweeks it’s like an of episode of “Game of Thrones”. There are times when we are laser focused on goals, dreams and achievements, others when we take a break to stop and smell the roses but are still mindful of the dream.
Last I would like to share a line from Tecumseh Poem that encapsulates the ebb and flow of life but the ultimate goal of a health and wellness lifestyle. “Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to live a long life.”
Craft Beer and Relationships
Several years ago on a date night, I took Ann to a taproom. Her experience with beer had been her paternal grandfather who would drink a Budweiser with a shot of Jack Daniels every night. I told her that this definitely isn’t Budweiser! She was still hesitant but said at least they have wine. As we sat the bar, the beertender, Heather said she could find a beer my wife would like. After a few clarifying questions about general taste preferences our Heather provided a recommend flight of dark beers consisting of stouts, porters and barleywines. Who knew there was a Sommelier equivalent in the beer world called a Cicerone? Heather was one! Come to find out my wife likes her beer like she likes her man: dark and strong. 😊
We do date night to strengthen our communication and comprehension of each other needs, wants and desires. One exercise we created for date night is each of us has to bring a question to ask and answer while we are out. We intentionally do it in public so that civility and self-control are re-enforced. These aren’t fluff questions these are serious and sometimes fun questions about elevating the relationship, achieving goals, being better in the relationship, and of course our sex life. We have found this fun to do to re-connect on an intimate level.
A relationship left to run on its own inertia has a high probability of failing because like a garden it requires tending to re-enforce good behaviors and growth and to explore and potentially change undesired behaviors. My wife isn’t just my wife she is my lover, business partner, workout partner, garden CEO, food, beer, wine and spirits partner.
Besides, enjoying craft beer in moderation like having a great relationship has several health benefits.
Beer:
- Builds strong bones
- Cleans your teeth
- Reduces inflammation
- Helps you live longer
Loving Relationship:
- Lowers blood pressure
- Lessens anxiety
- Longer life
- Less depression and better stress management
There appears to be anecdotal proof that a good beer and some loving honest relationship time can actually give you a better and longer quality of life.
Gardening: The Permaculture Crisis and Our Commitment
One of the modern buzzwords is food insecurity. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) defines food insecurity as: “a lack of consistent access to enough food for an active, healthy life.” There are numerous causes and effects that food insecurity can have on individual, families and communities.
During the height of the subprime crisis we decided to “grow food not lawns.” One of the many lost skills in our communities is permaculture or sustainable living principles. For example, you may recall a parent or grandparent who had a garden. If my 20-year-old self met my 40-year-old self and said: “Hey. You are going to be a permaculture and sustainable gardening practitioner.” I would have been on the floor in tears from laughter. I knew nothing about permaculture or sustainable gardening.
Despite all the deep fakes and fake news on the internet I found is some helpful information wanting to learn how to develop and permaculture environment. My first effort was to try to use the “double digging method” in our garden. This was an epic fail given the high amount of clay in our native soil. I moved to plan B which was to build raised beds. Each week we went to the lumber yard and purchased red lumber (untreated) so I could build four 4×8 foot beds both in the front and back yards.
Once these beds were built, I proceed to take our yard waste which would normally go in our green bin and use it as the base for the soil in our boxes like the “Hügelkultur permaculture garden technique.” Once the beds were built and filled with green waste and soil, we began to plant both flowers and foot stock that interested us.
Permaculture is a trial and error process where you can only account for your actions but not for mother nature and her complexities. Believe me, we failed at Kiwi, had limited success with watermelons, and learned a ton about tomatoes for our climate. We chose to learn was we go instead of wait to be perfect that meant understanding the growing climate, the microclimates in our own yard, as well as how much sun you get through the growing season in your area.
In going down this path, we started upon a great health and wellness lifestyle that addresses food insecurity at its core. You never know how empowering it is to grab a tomato, apple or pea right off a plant and feed yourself, family and or community. As we drive around our own community, here is too much potable space, including lawns, sidewalk yards and vacant lots for people and communities to suffer from food insecurity but everyone has to lean in and help one another.
The health and wellness benefits of growing your own food are numerous. These are ones we enjoy about doing it:
- Education. The acquisition and application of new knowledge must be good for your general brain connectivity and health.
- Exercise. The amount of work needed to cultivate food from soil to mature food stock can be laborious at certain times of the year. Consider it a part of your daily workout; plus the body was designed for movement.
- Mental Health. Eliminating and or reducing food insecurity along with the peace and serenity of permaculture is great for your general mental state.
- Environment. Eating locally reduces the carbon footprint especially related to transportation of food from around the global. Think less Greenhouse gases due to fossil fuels.